One of my very favorite IDF posters, SirMac, has agreed to write a column for us at Joe’s Place. I always get such a kick out of Mac’s posts, so I hope that you will all enjoy this new part of Joe’s Place.
The Road To Hollywood Is Paved With Swimmers
by SirMac
After an excruciating audition process where I swear they have shown more bad auditions than good, we have reached the final audition episode. This time around, the producers seem to be attempting to right a wrong as the whole episode is pretty much a calvacade of golden tickets. But that, of course, can’t start without a little Pants On The Ground montage. Hopefully we’re done with that song till at LEAST the finale.
Our first Golden Ticket winner is Jessica Furney, who auditioned last year, but didn’t make it past Hollywood. Well, sorry girl, but you don’t make it past Hollywood this year either. She sings Footprints In The Sand and reminds us all that Simon does do something in the music industry other than wear excruciatingly tight shirts and make smarmy comments. Honestly? I thought she was better last year, and I liked the homely vibe. She lost a lot of weight, and she looks great, but I miss the old Jessica.
Up next is an incredibly annoying edit on Amanda Schechtman, who is some kind of Britney whisperer, and makes comments about how she “acts”. Come on now, don’t most American Idol contestants have professional experience? Don’t point hers out and make it seem like she’s different. Her so-so audition gets her a golden ticket to Hollywood, and an end to a painful segment.
Lee Dewyze, probably one of the new “frontrunners” for the competition, comes up next and sings Aint No Sunshine. He’s so Kris Allen 2.0 its not even funny. He’s all about the soulful singer/songwriter vibe. The judges don’t talk much about him, they just send him through.
Crystal Bowersox, shown almost at the same exact time as Lee Dewyze, in some sort of “we play instruments” segment, is shown making it through to the next round after singing “Piece Of My Heart”. It was aight. She’s got dreads like Jason Castro, but not quite the voice he had.
Following Crystal is a montage of fakeouts, where we see (but not hear) Alex Lambert. Poor kid. Also, Rose Flack does a fake out.
Lacey Brown’s interpretation of Over The Rainbow ranks as my favorite performance of the night. She’s got potential. Suddenly, she’s gone from cannon fodder to maybe Top 12. Too bad fellow Top 50er from last season, Angela Martin, couldn’t catch the same break.
Some crazed Spice Girl fan ran into a pile of sequence and tried to audition for American Idol and they filmed it. Boring…
Rachel Hubbard, Thaddeus Whatsyourname, and Genesis Moore all sing. All are so-so and quite forgettable. Inexplicably, they all make Hollywood. I bet the judges were thinking “well, we need people to cut.”
American Idol continues to mock effeminate men by showing us Adrian, a mangiant who calls himself a manflower and sings like a four-year old for the judges. Yes, it was weird. But was it neccessary? No.
Michael Lynche becomes the most annoying Top 24er thus far as he flexes his muscles for the camera. Vanity won’t get you anywhere in this competition, Michael. He sang Unchained Melody, and I was disappointed he never went into his falsetto. Still, that’s a good looking black man, and Idol has a hard time finding those (Gedeon McKinney… George Huff…Charles Grigsby….Corey Clark…Ruben Studdard) so they send him through to Hollywood. Either a girl or a black man. I’m betting that’s what they say in the producers room every day.
Didi Benami rocks out some Hey Jude, and she’s pretty terrific too. Seriously. What a unique take on the song. So much heart in this girl. She’s like a less hippy version of Brooke White. Love her already.
Kimberly Bishop totally should have advanced. She could have been this year’s Norman Gentle. I’d love to see her sneak into the Top 24, along with…. Shaddai Harris, who offered us the most tone deaf interpretation of Fallin’ ever. EVER. Both auditions were terrible.
American Idol tells us the story of Aaron Kelly, a young boy who travelled the country as a child recording artist, singing in country fairs across the country… oh wait. No, they tell us the story of Aaron Kelly, a young boy who was adopted by his Aunt and Uncle when his parents couldn’t take care of him any more. So then his Aunt and Uncle whored him out? I don’t get the story. He sings The Climb, and he sounds vocally tired. It’s hard for me to remain unbiased with Aaron Kelly because I really can’t stand this kid. He used to be country, now he looks like Aaron Carter. What genre is he trying to do? CHOOSE ONE!
Hope Johnson is poor.
Join us next week for Hollywood Round!!! (hands down my favorite part of the show)j
Good Read!
Dont be so hard on poor Aaron he is just 16 , i know he is annoying like justin bieber but still. LOL
How he made the top 24 will be interesting to see.
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I was disappointed in Michael’s audition too. Why sing that song and not do the falsetto when you’re very capable of doing it? I’ve heard his music and he’s got amazing range. I mean, crazy range. Maybe he just wasn’t feeling it on that day. Who knows. He must have stepped up his game big time in HW.
As far as the pecs thing, I took it as Idol trying to make a story of something that wasn’t there. He didn’t come off as vain to me. The whole segment just came off as corny. I hope they’re not trying to lump him into a Ruben Studdard category. For some reason I got that vibe. Maybe it was Ryan hanging off of him or maybe it was Kara calling him a “big teddy bear”. That annoyed me more than anything. Hopefully, they just did that for the auditions and have thus changed their tune.
Anyway, I hope he does well. I have a good feeling about him and what he could bring to the competition.
I agree with you about the girl or black guy thing. Though more so the girl thing because it’s more realistic. Another feeling I get is that Michael blew Jermaine away in HW and they (TPTB) want to lean more on him as “The Chosen Black guy.” I’m just basing this on listening to their previous music, but I’d say MIke has the edge… big time.
Thanks for the insight. I look forward to reading more this season.
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