We’re deep in the heart of Hollywood Week. How is America’s favorite show we love to complain about and downplay the significance of in our lives to our friends and loved ones faring so far?
The Contestants: B+ (Last report card: C-)
Some contestants are starting to stand out. Unfortunately those standout contestants are all blonde female guitarists (except for the Danny Gokey/Ian Gomez crossover guy) and nearly indistinguishable from one another. While I was really impressed with the quadfecta of girly guitarists, I’m still having a hard time telling them apart/remembering their names. Here’s hoping that by the time the Top 24 comes around, a few of them will have changed their hair and grown some personality that extends beyond body art.
Simon: B+ (Last report card: A-)
The show’s orneriest judge is still putting on a fairly decent show, but he has been upstaged by his new colleague.
Ellen: A- (Last report card: –)
There is always room for improvement (i.e. look in Randy’s thesaurus for some new synonyms for “weird”), but Ellen is off to a very auspicious start. She is displaying none of the cheesy camera-hoggishness she showed during her brief stint as a judge on So You Think You Can Dance. She is witty and relevant in her assessments of the singers. She pays attention. And she acts like a grown-up! Welcome to the show, Ellen!
Kara: C (Last report card: D)
Maybe Ellen’s presence has put me in a better mood, or maybe Ellen’s presence has forced the panel’s most whiny and petty member to take the job more seriously, but Kara wasn’t nearly as annoying this week as she has been in the past. And she wrote a pretty great song that was performed by one of the Four Not Non-Blondes.
Randy: Incomplete (Last report card: Incomplete)
I am still not one billion percent convinced that he hasn’t been replaced by a ceramic vase.
The ‘Crest: C- (Last report card: B-)
Where have you gone, ‘Crest? Are you even in the Kodak Theater? All we’re getting of you are incessant voiceovers and the occasional back stage ass grab between you and Stage Manager Debbie.
Cumulative Grade for the Show as a Whole: B- (Last report card: C-)
Does anyone read these posts? Or do y’all just come here to chat? Am I wasting my time with the posts? Please Comment if you actually read this stuff.I would love to hear your thoughts. 
Giant upgrade in the contestants over the audition phase. At least Simon is making a moderate effort, Randy isn’t even phoning it in. Looks like Kara and Ellen are going to have to carry the show this season. Or, they may actually focus on the contestants. That may actually save the show once Simon is gone.
I love reading your posts, I just don’t always comment – I will try to be better about that! Keep up the good work!!!
By they way I love Ellen as the new judge – I knew she would do a great job!
I’m not one to compare Andrew to Danny all too often, but I lol’d at the whole Danny/Ian crossover thing. >_>