It’s the end of January. We’ve been at this whole American Idol Season 9 thing for, like, 27 years now. It’s time to evaluate what we’ve seen.
The Contestants: C-
There is not a single person who has me jumping up and down or Googling their name or cleaning out room on my record shelf for their eventual albums or making room for them in my Jeremy Renner dreams. I can hardly recall a single performance, but I know more about the contestants’ personal lives/family statuses/colons than I’ve ever needed to know ever.
Simon: A-
There’s always room for improvement, but Simon’s uttered more memorable quips this season than all the other judges combined. Expect even more quippiness as the season progresses. He wants to go out with a bang.
Kara: D
I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt last year, but this year she’s clinging to the female guest judges looking for non-existent girl power, choosing story over substance in whom she chooses to let through to Hollywood, and getting way too testy when a lowly contestant pushes her buttons. Calm down, behave like an adult and a professional, and be a bitch at the right moments.
Randy: Incomplete
Where the hell has Randy gone? I am a bazillion percent sure that the producers replaced him with a wax figurine. Or maybe he died and Seacrest and Simon are just dragging his corpse around a la Weekend at Bernie’s.
Guest Judges: C
OK, Avril and Posh just sucked. Katy Perry’s bitchiness would’ve been warranted if she herself possessed any discernible performing talent. A Jonas brother was there, too, I think. And Kristen Chenoweth? For about five minutes? At least Shania Twain and Neil Patrick Harris gave the contestants some useful criticisms and took charge of the panel, respectively. Nice auditions for Simon’s and Kara’s spots, you two.
The ‘Crest: B-
The ‘Crest hasn’t had much to do so far (his time to shine comes during the Top 24). He would’ve earned a B for just being his normal Crestingtons, but he earned the minus in his grade for his awkward “flirtation” with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.
Cumulative Grade for the Show as a Whole: C-
Let’s be honest, the show is only as good as its contestants, and its contestants are more boring that Jon Peter Lewis’ pen salesman wardrobe.
contestants should get an incomplete, we’ve seen like 1/10th of the people who made it to hollywood and i usually don’t google any audition contestants but i have this year after hearing andrew garcia… dudes got some talent. i agree with everything else, especially the neil patrick harris comment, and overall i’d give the show a B- so far. that’s about a standard grade for this point, if the show is going to suck or be good it will become obvious during hollywood week.
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I think C- is being a little charitable. From what we’ve seen so far, I think this may have the potential for being AI’s least exciting season yet. But I really hope it doesn’t turn out that way.
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I think its too early to tell what this season will end up turning into, but so far blah blah blah boring – D
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I am hoping for better shows this week. Thus far, I would give Idol a C-
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I think there are some promising contestants. I won’t make a judgment until later on. I think at very least it will be better than last season. . . .
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